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Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood

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Warning: this tale contains serious spoilers for Trigun Maximum volume 10, chapters 7-8.

Mostly "manga-verse." However, a church is shown in the manga about that point in the story. Therefore, I'm assuming that Wolfwood did pause there and say his prayers, as were shown in the anime, before having his final drink with Vash.




Vash Mourns Wolfwood

Year 114, approximately month 7 and day 12



Wolfwood, my friend... Why did you not trust me? Did you not know that I would gladly help you protect your beloved orphanage? I love children, too.

He died for them. Rem also died to protect them. Why did you have to die, too?

It's my fault. They came to December because of me, because you would not kill me. If I had been quicker, if I had realized sooner, you would still be here. We could have fought together, to protect them. After today, we could have enjoyed many more drinks together. But I came too late. It took me too long to understand where you had gone, and why.

I tried. I protected the children for you, while you fought for your life. At first, when the battle ended, I thought we had both won. We both walked away, and I was so relieved. I thought you would survive, as you have done before.

I was so proud of you, that you hadn't killed them! I knew that was hard for you, that it went against the way you had always lived. It was not something you had practiced for as long as I have. I knew that it might slow you down, changing your fighting practice. At first, I thought you would live also. You were tired, and injured, but you had recovered from such things before... so many times. We have both been near death before, and lived. I have never shared that with anyone else, as I have with you.

Then you went into that church. At first, I thought you were thanking God that we had won, that we had both survived. Since you are a priest, it would make sense for you to pay your respects in a church after a victory. Perhaps I should have gone in with you. Would that have made a difference?

I could sense that you had changed. When you finally came out, and didn't have your weapon, the cross that had burdened you for so long, I knew something was wrong. At first, I didn't know for sure. I didn't want to believe it. But I could feel that something was badly wrong... and growing worse.

You stepped into the kitchen, and came out with that bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. You tried to make light of it, claiming that you were fine when I asked. I wanted so badly to be a good friend to you in that moment, but again you pushed me away with your words.

Why, Wolfwood? Why?

You sat beside me, pretending that all was as it had always been. But I knew. I prayed for you, did you know that? I prayed that you would live.

Perhaps God has not yet forgiven me for July. Why else would He deny my prayer? You should not have needed to suffer for my sins, my friend. Please, please… forgive me.

You deserved better, Wolfwood. Better than to die at the hands of those men. You won over an old friend during that battle. Did you know that? Like you, he broke from the other assassins, wanting to live differently. You made him want to be human again, instead of only another tool in the hands of cold-hearted Knives.

Did you notice the confetti shower that your orphans rained down upon us? Did you understand their tribute? Or were you already staring into eternity, too disconnected from this world to notice?

Doesn't the holy writ say, "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends"? You risked your life for the orphans, knowing you might lose. You died for them, and for me. I would have died for you, if it would have spared you.

You always hid your feelings deep down. I know how that feels, since I must do it too. I must do it now, again. I have to face Knives. This was his doing. He was the one who sent them with orders to kill me, the orders that you disobeyed at such great cost.

I must strengthen myself. He must be stopped, even if I have to stop him your way. I have risked my life before, but somehow I have always survived. I'm not sure if I can survive both losing you and fighting him.

I have spent so many years surviving, hurting for all who have died. For me, living is more painful than dying. I thought I had lost the will to live, long ago, but I kept on going. I had a task yet to fulfill.

In many ways, you have been more like a brother to me than Knives has. Or at least, more like a brother should be. I thank you for that. I never told you how much I valued your friendship. I hope that, somehow, you knew.

Knives... he has grown too powerful. I may not survive this next battle against him. Part of me is almost relieved at that thought, but part of me is afraid.

If I don't face him, your sacrifice will have been in vain. If I don't defeat him, your loss will not be remembered or valued. No one will live to remember you, for unless I can either change his mind or defeat him – he will destroy everyone.

I am dying. My black hair is a mute testimony to that fact. I have learned to be a gunman partly because I knew that my power as a plant is limited. I knew that power, those abilities, could not last forever. I needed a way to resist Knives if I ran low. I have to protect the people, the normal humans here. People like you.

Perhaps... perhaps, I should run out of power. At least, then, Knives cannot use my body to hurt anyone else. If he cannot fire my arm, I will not again be guilty of the deaths of innocent people. I never wanted that. I cannot allow that to happen again.

It is time. I see his ark. I will send him a message, with what little remaining power I have. I will bury you, with all possible honors. I will pray over your grave. Then I will make myself as strong as I can, and go to meet my destiny.

My power has hurt so many people. Maybe Knives and I should both die. Perhaps that would be for the best. I must master my fear, and face him.

I may be joining you, sooner than you expect.





Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun / Vash; he belongs to the amazing Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.
Trigun, Trigun Maximum, "Vash the Stampede" and "Nicholas D. Wolfwood" characters belong to the amazingly talented Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

Mangaverse.

This is a multi-chapter story.
* Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood
* Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood, part 2
* Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood, part 3
* Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood, part 4
* Trigun: Vash Mourns Wolfwood, part 5


If anyone's curious, my other Trigun Fanfiction can be found through my profile at fanfiction.net. :)

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